My Kind of Bunny!
by EvilFuzzy9
Summary: Sakamoto and Mutsu have a friendly, and then not-so-friendly, chat in the captain's quarters. Complete with subtle ship teasing and not-so-subtle bunny jokes. [SakaMutsu, crackish, mild spoilers for chapters 477-480 of the manga]


**My Kind of Bunny!**

A _Gintama_ fluffshot

By

EvilFuzzy9

* * *

"Ahahaha! Ahahahaha!" laughed master swindler, former Joi patriot, and current merchant captain, Tatsuma Sakamoto. The man had a new pair of sunglasses on, as well as a wide, toothy grin. "Maaan, that Kintoki is always such a riot! Ahahaha!" he chortled.

Mutsu sat beside the man on his bed, in the captain's private quarters. In spite of herself, the second in command of Sakamoto's Kaientai had a rare, indulgent smile on her face.

"Mm, he is," she said wryly, eyes glinting with a curious sort of mischief as she glanced over at her captain. That wide-brimmed, sturdily woven straw hat of hers was lying discarded in the corner of the room. "He really is an amusing sort of idiot..." She shook her head. "The two of you are like peas in a pod."

Sakamoto laughed.

"D'ya think so?" he said. "Gee! And here I always thought I was much more handsome than Kintoki-kun. Ahahahaha!" he laughed, throwing his head back.

Mutsu rolled her eyes, still softly grinning.

"You have better eyes," she said, a rare compliment. "He's too dull and unfocused. But you..." A faint blush crossed her cheeks. "...you're very striking. Always looking so far ahead... although that also means you often miss what's right in front of you..."

She crossed her arms a little self-consciously across her chest and averted her gaze, a tad shyly. Not that Sakamoto noticed.

"Hahaha! Yeah, you never know where that Kintoki is looking!" Tatsuma remarked. "And he says some of the damnedest things, too!"

"Like what?" posed Mutsu wryly. "_'It's Gintoki, not Kintoki,'_ maybe?"

Tatsuma shook his head, waving a hand dismissively. "No, no, nothing like that!" he replied. "But he does say some pretty funny things. Like, he called you a _yato!_ Ahahaha! Isn't that funny, Mutsu-chan? Ahahahaha! If you were a night bunny, I'd think I would notice! You know?"

A vein throbbed in Mutsu's forehead.

"Rabbit," she said. "_Rabbit_. Bunny would imply that it was a child."

Sakamoto shook his head.

"No, no," he said. "Everybody calls them bunnies! Like beach bunnies, or ski bunnies, or Playboy bunnies! Ahahaha! Rabbits wouldn't be cute at all. It's bunnies or nothing, you know!"

A second vein joined the first.

"It's not supposed to be cute," she muttered darkly. "And all of your examples are just _girls_, dammit!" She threw a pillow irritably at her captain's head, knocking his sunglasses to the floor.

Sakamoto laughed.

"Well, that's the kinda bunny you are, ain't it?" he said. "A really cute girl, you know! Hahahahaha! You're my loyal, second-in-command ship bunny!"

Mutsu blushed, in spite of her self. Again, she averted her gaze. Her cheeks were the color of cranberry sauce. She kicked her legs awkwardly back and forth, her hands trembling the tiniest bit as her imagination went into serious overdrive.

In her mind, Mutsu got the inextricable image of herself wearing a nautically-themed playboy bunny outfit while standing at the ship's wheel next to a Sakamoto who was wearing naught but a loose, open bathrobe. They looked all too cozy like that, in her mind's eye.

She threw another pillow at Sakamoto, much harder this time, redirecting those confusing emotions into something much more understandable – _annoyance_.

"I'm not a bunny. I'm a Yato!" she snapped, eyes twitching.

Sakamoto laughed.

"Ohh?" he said. "But anyway you write it, it's close enough! Besides, bunny suits you better, Mutsu-chan," he added, his voice getting deeper, briefly more serious. "Don't you think? A cute name for a cute first mate."

_Mate_.

That word echoed inside Mutsu's head. Her eyes widened, her heart hammered in her breast.

Immediately, she picked up the bed and threw it at Sakamoto.

"I'M NOT YOUR MATE, YOU IDIOT CAPTAIN!" she roared, redfaced and flustered.

With a crash, the piece of furniture slammed Sakamoto into the opposite wall, pinning him there. There was the sound of _something_ audibly snapping. Blood trickled down from the man's hairline.

"Ahahahahahaha!" he laughed, completely unconcerned. "Hahahaha! Girls from earth really are the best~!"

Mutsu snapped.

"I'M A YATO, YOU FRIGGIN' DUMBASS!" she shouted, perhaps revealing more in that moment than she had intended to. Her eyes twitched, and she was seething. Grinding her teeth and clenching her fists, Mutsu silently spat on her captain. It landed on his forehead.

Tatsuma Sakamoto smiled at her brightly.

"Yup!" he said. "You really are my kind of bunny, ahahahaha!"

Mutsu blushed furiously, before irritably turning on her heel and stalking away.

Sakamoto watched her leave with a shit-eating grin on his face.

"You bloody dumbass..." muttered Mutsu, crossing her arms over her chest. She screwed her face determinedly into a scowl, hoping to make the redness look more like an angry flush.

"_Lookit dat ass_..." murmured Sakamoto quietly to himself. He ogled his first mate cheerfully as she walked away. Then he laughed. "Ahahaha! Mutsu-chan, you really do wiggle your hips so nicely! Ahahahaha!"

Mutsu chose to pretend she didn't hear that. She was not at all flattered or pleased by her idiot captain's comment. Those words didn't make her heart go _pitter patter _in the least!

She was simply feeling generous today. That was all.

And anybody who implied otherwise would be getting a one way ticket to Hell.

Blushing, the vice-captain of the Kaientai strutted up to the bridge with the tiniest bit more confidence in her posture than before.

* * *

A/N: Hehe, my original intention for this was a smutty piece with SakaMutsu smex. Although I knew I wanted it to have something to do with Mutsu being a Yato, and Sakamoto not knowing what a Yato is.

And for those who are confused about all the bunny/rabbit talk, '_Yato_' is to my understanding written with the kanji for _night_ and _rabbit_.

(playboy bunny mutsu and kagura XD)

**Chapter added:** 2-25-14

**TTFN and R&R!**

– — ❤


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